Thankful

Here's how Webster's Dictionary defines the work "thankful":

thank-ful: (adjective) 1. conscious of benefit received 2. expressive of thanks 3. well pleased.

If you've known me for very long you know that I like to live my life by a plan. Once in college I went to spring break at Fort Walton Beach, Fl with two very good friends (Mel C. & my roommate Candi) and another girl which I'll leave nameless. My plan for time spent at the beach has always been and will always be to have myself on the beach, sun screen applied and in the sun by 10am...everyone knows that's when the best time to tan begins...duh! This "other girl" had other plans and wanted to spend our time at the beach in the exact opposite way...out late at night and up way too late in the day. Needless to say, we had it out that week because she objected to my plan and the "other girl" went home early and the rest of us stayed to enjoy our time in the sun! My point, I need a plan to follow, but if there's any one thing I can say that I've learned this year is that as much as I would like to, I'm not making the plans. I'm living by the plan God has already set for me...whether I like it or not.

Who thought parenthood would be easy...me! I'll be the first to say that I have passed judgement on parents I've seen who can't control their kids. And even though I have a very good child by other's standards, guess what...I still can't control her! When she gets defiant at her very young age it makes my blood boil! But I'm so thankful that after a year of trying to have a baby that I've been blessed enough to be Ruth Ann McCarty's mother. During the months & months of struggling to conceive my friend Amanda Newman told me that I needed to stop praying for a baby and pray for the right baby. Basic biology tells me that had I conceived any other month then I would not have gotten to be Ruth Ann's mother. Would I have noticed a difference...maybe not, but I can't imagine my life with any other baby and I'm thankful that God's plan was for me to wait on this baby girl...she was worth every failed pregnancy test! Even if her defiant attitude makes me want to pull my hair out...I love this little girl more than I could have ever imagined and am grateful & thankful for every minute I get to spend with her. Am I conscious of benefits received this year...yes I am!



One thing I felt very soon after Ruth Ann was born was not only how much I loved her, but also how much I am loved by my parents. Growing up I always felt loved by my parents, but once I felt the love a parent has a for their child first hand I suddenly became very aware of how much I am loved and how undeserving I am of this love. During Ruth Ann's first week of life she had done nothing to deserve my love for her and yet I would lay my life down for her...if I feel this way as a parent, I can't even begin to imagine how much our Heavenly Father loves us. We are sinful, rotten creatures and God had a plan to send his Son to die for us so that we could everlasting life...what did we do to deserve this...absolutely nothing! Do I think you need to be a parent to understand this...absolutely not...I think it was the hormones post delivery that made me break down in tears every time I thought about how much my parent's love me...but I'm very thankful for this precious realization because I'm grateful (and thankful) to have parents and a Heavenly Father who love me unconditionally!



I also want to express my thanks to my in-laws for loving my baby girl so very much. I'm very thankful for their willingness to keep Ruth Ann on the days that I am a working mother. Without their help I know going back to work would have been 100% harder for me. I can't tell you how easy it is to pass her off into their arms every morning knowing that they will be loving her all day long. She is making memories with them that will stay with her for the rest of her life and they will be memories she will surely treasure. Will I be as thankful when she would rather be in her Grand-daddy's arms than mine...maybe not, but I'll try to remember to look back at this post and be thankful for the love she has for her grandparents!



Am I "well pleased" by the way 2009 as turned out...honestly, I would have to say yes and no. Yes, I'm pleased to have a healthy baby girl, Arch and I are employed and don't appear to be in jeopardy of losing our jobs, Spencer is healthy and doing well in school, but my family is not ending 2009 the same way we started year. The death of a family member is never easy...young or old. When a grandparent passes away the sadness and loss you feel is no different than when you loss a family member at a young age. I think the difference comes in the shock you feel and the sudden end of plans you had made to spend with that young person. I say this because I could have never planned for my bothers passing in March. We had made plans to spend family vacations and holidays together and he was suppose to be there to help me when our parents turn old & crazy. Even though I know that no one has the promise of other day here on Earth, it's still continues to be the hardest lesson I've learned in my life to see my brother gone at such a young age and to know God had this planned for our lives. Do I understand this plan...not at all, but it's not for me to understand on this side of Heaven. However, over and over I see ways that God was preparing our family for His plan and I continue to be "well pleased" with the love and support I have received from my friends and family this year. Never before have I felt the power of prayer and seen what a difference it makes in someone life when they are at their lowest point. I can't thank everyone enough for all their prayers and kind words during the last 9 months. My family has felt and appreciated every prayer and we are forever thankful.

I hope everyone has had a great Thanksgiving and that you spent few minutes thinking about what they are thankful for this year.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!